SAROZ's Blog…
never go away from this…
Wonderful definitions of designations
Oct 14th
1 ) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2 ) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3 ) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4 ) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
5 ) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6 ) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.
7 ) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
8 ) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby.
9 ) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.
Software Engineer & his wife…
Oct 12th
Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife – would you like to have some snacks?
Husband – hard disk full.
Wife – have you brought the saree.
Husband – Bad command or file name.
Wife – but I told you about it in morning
Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife – Oh God ! forget it where’s your salary.
Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife – at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband – sharing violation, access denied.
Wife – I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband – data type mismatch.
Wife – you are useless.
Husband – by default.
Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband – the only user with write permission.
Wife – what is my value in your life?
Husband – unknown virus detected.
Wife – do you love me or your computer?
Husband – Too many parameters.
Wife – I will go to my dad’s house.
Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife – I will leave you forever.
Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife – it is worthless talking to you.
Husband – shut down the computer.
Wife – I am going
Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer .
A Man with two Women in Bed…
Oct 10th
I have heard: Two friends were talking with each other about the dream they had last night.
One man said, “Boy, what a beautiful dream …such big fish! In my whole life I have not been able to catch so many big fish. It was such a joy …the whole night, I was going in and in, inside the lake, and finding bigger and bigger fish.”
The other said, “This is nothing. You cannot even conceive what happened last night in my dream.”
His friend said, “What happened?”
And the man said, “I am thinking if I should say it or not — because you will not believe it. Even when I am awake, I myself cannot believe it but it happened.
Suddenly I found that in my bed, on one side is Sophia Loren. I said, `My God, how did she get in?’ and I turned to look at the other side and I found Marilyn Monroe. I said, `What is happening? Have I died and reached heaven?’”
By this time the other fellow had become very angry. He said, “You idiot, why did you not call me? When two women came …what were you doing with two women? One is enough for you. You could have chosen. It was your dream of course, so the first choice was for you. But the other woman belonged to me. What kind of friendship is this?”
And the other man said, “I went to your house but they said you had gone fishing.”
- OSHO
Bodhidharma : The Greatest Zen Master, Chapter #16 : The courage to say “i don’t know”
Be Positive :)
Oct 10th
Father : “I want you to marry a girl of my choice”
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Father : “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…ok”
Next – Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates : “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father : “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates : “Ah, in that case…ok”
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President : “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father : “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President : “Ah, in that case…ok”
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. Be +ve.
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